To celebrate his special day, the 27-year-old took to Instagram on Wednesday to post a video of several pictures and videos from the precious moments she spent with her baby boy before he passed away in December last year. She wrote in the caption:
“Happy heavenly birthday Zen. At the root of all the emotions I have today there is insurmountable love. I always try my best to remain positive but right now I can’t help but cry out ‘it’s not suppose to be like this.’”
Alyssa went on to share how she can picture in her mind Zen “smashing his cake and crawling around, tugging at my legs.” However, she heartbreakingly knows that is not what will actually be happening on this day, saying:
“But the reality is I will be the one to blow out his first candle. I will be wishing he was still here with us. GO REST HIGH”
Instead of sharing his own tribute, Nick reposted the video and caption that Alyssa penned, noting that “the loving, nurturing, irrefrangible and strength filled Amazing Mother @Itsalyssaemm said it way better than I could ever.” You can see the beautiful tribute HERE.
Milestone moments like these are very tough when you’ve lost a child.
As Perezcious readers may recall, the 41-year-old host revealed the devastating news on The Nick Cannon Show that his seventh child passed away following a battle with a rare form of brain cancer. Referring to the condition hydrocephalus, Nick shared on the episode at the time:
“And I think it was called, if I’m not mistaken, fluid that was building up in his head, and that was the cause. His head was starting to get big. When we found out it was more, they called it a malignant tumor in his head. Immediately, we had to have surgery. Brain surgery.”
However, things continued to take a turn for the worse when Zen’s tumor started growing at the end of November, and he ultimately died. Following the tragedy, the parents continued to mourn his loss. Alyssa has been very open about her grief over the past year, previously sharing on social media details about her final moments with her son:
“If I had one wish it would be to hold you. I know everything around me would stand still. It would be just you and me. My last words to you were ‘I’m here, I love you’. That will ring true until the end of time.. I’m here and I love you baby. Im just missing you extra today. My son. You are all of my dreams realized.”
Our hearts go out to Nick and Alyssa.
Originally published at perezhilton.com